How do you have the relationship you always wanted? What can you do to either attract or improve your romantic relationships? Here are 5 simple things you can do.
- First you must be the person you want in your life. If you are looking for someone who is kind and positive, successful and secure, and healthy and fit; you must begin by being those things. It’s never too late to become the person you want.
- Truth and Honesty above all else – even if it will hurt a little. A healthy relationship should be a safe place to be honest. Remember the truth doesn’t have versions so what you tell your mate should always be the absolute truth even if it’s hard to hear. Learn how to fight fair with each other and never go to bed angry.
- Be an active participant in the relationship. Most of us say we want a 50/50 love but let’s be real….some days it’s 60/40, some days it’s 70/30, and unfortunately, some days it’s as little as 80/20 but those ratios should rotate. When you put your mate’s needs before your own (I don’t mean never do anything for yourself) you take the focus off of yourself and if you are both doing it, then your needs are met anyway. You do have to let your mate know what your needs are, they aren’t mind readers. Ask questions and share your needs along the way so you each know what you can do to make things that much better for your mate as their needs change because they do throughout the life of your relationship.
- Allow someone to love you. That may sound silly but you’d be surprised at how difficult it is for some people to let someone love them. “Why didn’t he…..”, “She never……..”, “I wish my spouse would……..” Instead of focusing on the things they don’t do, focus on the things they do. And….Are you doing those things? Recognize effort even when execution doesn’t quite hit the mark.
- Lastly…..don’t make a bunch of rules. Love is organic not orchestrated. The book The Rules was supposed to be a poke at dating – I hope. At any rate, true love is natural, not forced, it simply is. Don’t try to fit a square peg in a round hole. Just let it be. Hopefully the one you love will return your affection but if not, then there is someone better suited for you. They can’t come into your life until the path is clear.
Don’t force love, just let love.
Happy Valentine’s Day!